when i masturbate it is almost exclusively clitoral and vaginal stimulation, partially because i’m just starting to warm up to the idea of anal. now, i only turn to it when my horniness is insatiable. thus was the case about an hour ago. i do not use lube. frankly, i don’t need it…i’m just naturally wet all the time. however, because my ass is tight enough to turn coal into diamonds (Ferris Bueller’s Day Off, anybody?), this afternoon i opted for a small dollop. at this point i’m about twenty minutes into my routine and pull out my smaller vibe (about 4″) which i use exclusively in my ass.
so i’m doing my thing, having a grand time, and manage to get the little vibe slowly into my ass. suddenly, and i blame all this on the lube, my ass gobbles up the little guy and it disappears inside me. like…really inside me. i fish around a bit with a fingertip, but come up empty handed and my veins are suddenly filled with panic as i imagine having to go to the emergency room with a (running) vibe in my ass and having to explain myself to the doctors.
i tried many things: wiggling around, coaxing it out with another vibe in my pussy (under different circumstances i would’ve been incredibly turned on as DP is on my list of things that have to happen in my lifetime). nothing. i even managed to get three of my fingers in my ass, attempting to create a claw, but the damn thing was too slippery! at this point, the thing’s been in me about ten minutes and i’m really starting to get worried. ‘well, doctor, you see…i was trying to get off and well…it just…fell in. who knew my ass was the great abyss…’
finally, after what seemed like forever and with a rather painful flex, it popped out and rolled across my floor. i realize now, i am going to need a much larger vibrator for my ass so i never have to worry about it getting lost. or a person attached to the other end of whatever ends up in there next time…
anybody out there have this happen before? i know i’m not alone…Bueller…Bueller??
I’m almost speechless…that’s just a bit freaky. You really need one that has this little “stopper” at the end. I’m now rethinking using the vibes I already have on my ass.
Whew, glad it finally came out…
(ooh! And great HNT!)
yup it happens gotta be careful,if it gets past like the first three inches!!!sorry about your luck
YIKES girl, that would have been petrifying… a true sphincter pucker moment, which doesn’t help.
A small investment is worth a lifetime of never having to say “Dr, It just sort of slipped in there…”
BTW, for relaxing that power pucker, you might try investing in a skinny trainer plug, (I like silicon) and inserting it with much lube a half hour or so before you go spelunking with the power tools. Its a great way to get into the groove.
I’m sorry, but I laughed out loud to that one! I must agree though you need a larger (longer) one or something with a flange to keep from going in too far. I’ve seen them at the adult book stores.
Love the blog! I’ll be coming back again soon!
As your other commenters have said, there are common gadgets that take care of both the problems that you had, and they come in graduated sizes.
Did you ever see the movie “City of God”? A Brazilian movie that was powerful in a number of ways, there was a scene where one woman was telling the other that a green banana in the cunt, while the husband is in the rear is the best way to go.
Many women find that the strongest orgasms they have are when they are being taken anally, I have found this to be the case; I don’t know why this is so, but there is a lot of people who found it to be.
And thanks for the cleavage pix, that has always been the most powerful visual for me.
Thought you might like this story about anal toy play…
Oh no!
As soon as I read “vibe in the ass” I was worried for you.
Speaking from experience…
http://aagblog.com/2007/06/16/beware-the-tremendous-gravitational-pull-of-my-pussy-and-ass/
…you must use a toy that has a proper flange. The ass is hungry, very very hungry.
I’m glad you are ok.
When my g/f and I were first dating she expressed an interest in anal sex….So I let her pick out the vibe she wanted and sure enough it got lost…..I used to play very heavy in the bdsm community in New Orleans and I remember the gay boys telling me one time that when that happens go to the bathroom sit on the toilet and your body will now what to do next….remembering this I took her to the toilet and we sat and talked for about five minutes once she forgot why she was there it popped right out with no pain and very little trama….a couple of weeks later she was back this time with a butt plug…….who says playing with the gay boys doesn’t pay off…..
ps. on the toilet dont forget to sit on a towel otherwise it will get even more gross going fishing.
[...] done while masturbating? I don’t know that anything’s that crazy…i suppose my mishap with my ass from the other day would be up there in [...]
Glad it came out OK without any awkward encounters with healthcare professionals!
Get one with a flanged base like someone else suggested. I love anal play, cheekily sliding a lubed up finger slowly slid into a girls ass while I go down on her makes me so hot, as she gets closer and closer to coming I can feel her sphincter and other muscles inside her ass tensing up, relaxing, then tensing up again – and when she finally comes it must make the orgasm so much more intense judging by all the moans and tremors of the body!